My Favourite Christmas Cake Recipe

With fond memories of Pearse, whose bottle of Jameson's will now never run dry

Ingredients:

1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp. salt
1 cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
nuts
1 bottle Jameson's
2 cups of dried fruit

Sample the Jameson's to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the
whiskey again. To be sure it is the highest quality, pour one level cup
and drink.

Repeat.

Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy
bowl.

Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. Make sure the whiskey is still
OK.

Try another cup.

Turn off the mixerer. Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the
cup of dried fruit. Mix on the turner. If the fried druit gets stuck in
the beaterers pry it loose with a drewscriver. Sample the whiskey to
check for tonsisticity.

Next, sift two cups of salt. Or something. Who giveshz a ****. Check the
whiskey.

Now sift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table.

Add a spoon of sugar, or something. Whatever you can find. Greash the
oven and piss in the fridge.

Turn the cake tin 350 defrees. Don't forget to beat off the turner.
Throw the bowl through the fecking window.

Check the whiskey again and go to bed.

May you all have a wonderful Christmas and may your lives be blessed with true & loving friends