Musings on a New Year

There was a time when I loved New Years Eve, probably more than Christmas in many ways. I loved the partying, the feeling that I was casting off the old year and setting off into something new. Don't get me wrong, I was never one to religiously make New Year's Resolutions. Well, apart from the one I made some years ago, that I would never make a New Year's Resolution again, and I have stuck to that without fail.
But New Year always somehow feels different now. I can hear my maternal grandmother saying (as she did to most aired niggles) "It's your age", a comment I always felt indignant about and still would now. Of course I have the usual pos-Christmas good intentions (eat less, drink less, get more excercise) but the old feeling of a new start just isn't there any more. And it's been replaced with a feeling of having to continually face the same old problems as I did the year before.
This probably sounds rather depressive, but it isn't at all. The "same old problems" are there because they're part of an ongoing process, things that I know aren't just going to be resolved overnight because the date has a new number in it. And the big advantage to viewing it all as an ongoing process is being able to relax and enjoy the unexpected events and people that appear in my life. Just think of all the wonderful bonuses I would have missed if I'd had my head down, intent on following a set route!
So, I hadn't made plans for New Year's Eve at all. Most of my friends were away, some of them on the other side of the world. One of my cousins was free and we found ourselves invited to friends of mine for a dinner party, where we shared good food, good wine and good company, and I did tarot card readings for everyone.
I woke up very early yesterday to a killer hangover, but still managed to get dinner on the table for the children and some friends. (For the foodies out there - home made gnocchi with creamy radicchio sauce, roast duck with potato stuffing, mashed celeriac & fennel, steamed savoy cabbage, roast potatoes, marsala gravy, followed by Collins Street Bakery World Famous Fruitcake served with a half-bottle of Tokaii - not a bad feat considering the state of my head!) What was most enjoyable was that I was sharing the day with my daughters (most important of all), a couple of well-established friends and a couple of friends who I've got to know really over the last year. The two couples hadn't met before but got on really well (I just love it when that happens, introducing friends to each other and seeing them hit it off), so we had a slow relaxing meal with easy-flowing conversation. It sort of represented what I like about my life - my children, my friends and the new people who are becoming part of my life. What better start to a new year?
I am, as ever, aware that I do miss having a partner, but life is pretty good anyway.